Israeli therapist who counseled children affected by the sounds of war was murdered in the Oct. 7 terror attacks.

June 11, 2025, 10:28 am

Lilach Kipnis’ experience counseling children suffering from the trauma of war would have been valuable in the weeks and months after Oct. 7, 2023.

Two years earlier, Kipnis had published “Shirat Ha-trigger” (Poem of the Trigger), a slim, illustrated volume about how children cope with sounds — such as the blasts from rockets, mortars, and other devices launched into Israel from Gaza — that spark feelings of fear, panic, and anxiety.

“It was actually written together with the children, out of their shared experiences of living in an ongoing state of emergency,” Kipnis wrote in the introduction. She worked in the Eshkol region, which includes kibbutzim and towns in the “Gaza envelope.”

The 60-year-old Kipnis was one of 101 civilian men, women, and children murdered when 300 Hamas-led terrorists invaded Kibbutz Be’eri, whose founders in October 1946 included her parents.

Kipnis’ book is now available in English — titled “Sounds that Startle” — through Ben-Gurion University Canada, an organization that supports the multi-site university centered in Be’er Sheva. Donations fund mental health services in the campus community and the Negev Desert region.

Children may have difficulty distinguishing between a clap of thunder or a slamming door and explosions from a rocket or an Iron Dome missile intercepting an inbound rocket.

“In such reality, we are exposed to triggers: stimuli that remind us of the real danger and make us react as if the danger itself were present. The trigger produces a reflexive physical reaction to danger. Sometimes, it passes immediately when we realize that there is no real danger, but sometimes it can throw off our physical, mental, emotional, and functional balance for an extended period of time,” wrote Kipnis, who held a master’s degree in art therapy from Ben-Gurion University.

Her son, Yotam, told Israel Channel 13 in October 2023: “As a child who grew up in the Gaza envelope, and even before the terrible days we’re going through now, I jump at every sound from a motorbike or a slamming door.”

“Sounds that Startle” employs the language of children:
My body can’t tell the difference.
It just feels scared.
My throat tightens.
My heart pounds.
My stomach clenches.
I feel like running away.
Maybe I’ll run to the “safe room,” anywhere so that I am not alone.
I remember, though, that I’m ready for this:
These loud noises and booms are startling, but not dangerous.
The noise is not nice.
It reminds me of bad things.
But I am safe: scared, but not in danger.

Children develop coping mechanisms:
I put my hand on my heart and cross my arms like a butterfly.
Don’t be afraid, I tell myself. You’re safe now.
Everything is fine. You can relax and slowly, slowly let go.

On Oct. 7, Lilach and her husband, Eviatar, huddled in the safe room of their home. Terrorists set that house on fire and, among others at Be’eri, the home of Lilach’s sister, Shoshan Haran, and her husband, Avshalom.

In the immediate aftermath, Lilach and Eviatar Kipnis, and Avshalom Haran, were missing. Shoshan and six other family members were kidnapped. The body of Eviatar’s caretaker was found within days. The bodies of Eviatar, 65, and Avshalom, 66, were identified 10 days after the attacks and, a week later, that of Lilach.

Six women and children from the family, Shoshan included, were freed after 50 days, in an exchange of hostages for jailed Palestinians. A 40-year-old man suffered 505 days in captivity. [Disclosure: They are on the Israeli side of my family tree.]

An Israeli journalist wrote on Facebook that, according to his son, who knew Lilach, “she used to help patients from the Gaza Strip, driving them to hospitals in Israel. Kipnis’ kindness and desire for peace did not deter the Palestinian killers…”

At her funeral, Yotam Kipnis said: “Mother was a partner of movements that believed that we all, regardless of religion, race and gender, deserved a better future. Her support for peace came out of a connection to the ground and a deep acquaintance with the realities of war — and with the human spirit. Because even in the darkest of times, mother hasn’t forgotten what the light looks like.”

These are dark times for Israelis and Palestinians. Just 20 or so of the 53 hostages remaining in Gaza are believed alive. Israel’s military campaign against Hamas has reduced much of the Gaza strip to rubble. Estimates vary on how many tens of thousands of Palestinians have been killed.

A generation of children in the “Gaza envelope” have experienced trauma from the thousands of rockets fired into Israel. A generation of children growing up in Gaza are suffering trauma as the war continues.

It is tragically unfortunate that one victim of the slaughter on Oct. 7, 2023, was Lilach Kipnis, who devoted her life to working with children suffering from the effects of war.